Clothes shopping...

God Hates Figs

He's probably right.

Did you know...

...That anal bleaching can be achieved in a DIY fashion by using toothpaste?

No?

Neither did I until I spent the day waiting in for a delivery and was enlightened by the good women of Mumsnet.

Seriously! You couldn't make this shit up!

I spent most of today

Raking around in craft shops, dragging out the sewing machine and making pretty flowery things by cutting up other pretty flowery things and then sewing the pieces together in a different order. Yeah, me!

Proud owner of a large army of ninja squirrels and a detailed plan for world domination...

...Sewing!

Hey Geppetto! I'm a real girl!

And now it's time to resume normal service, so I'm fetching a Bacardi and coke. 

Tomorrow I may have to kill something cute and small to re-balance the cosmos... Who knows. 

Actually...

Not only am I going to try to keep this updated.

I'm going to move it to wordpress.



Behold the awesomeness!


Edit: Having mooched around the settings, maybe I can live with Blogger after all.

Suck it up, cupcakes!

Three years?

Wow! A whole three years since I so much as looked at this blog? Oh well. Never mind. A brief synopsis of the last three years then:

• Went back to work
• Bought lovely new car
• Wrote off lovely new car
• Left husband
• Moved house
• Bought a motorbike
• Became an orphan 

That about sums it up really.
Anyway, onward and upward... I think I might try to keep this little fucker updated...

Stay awake bitches. ;)

It’s Back! and Other Stories

Yay! The home of the porn hounds is back. I never thought I’d miss it that much. Why it disappeared, or what happened to make it reappear is anyone’s guess.

I’ve just spent 15 minutes of my day trying to find out the correct way to say “Go fuck a chicken!” in French, because somebody asked me. Now there’s 15 minutes that I will never get back. In case you’re interested, I think it’s “Vas faire foutre a la poulet”, but I wouldn’t want to bet on it.

 

Quote of the Day:
Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.
--Anonymous

Merry Kissmas

Cats + Tree =

…Fucking Bedlam!!

Went to bed last night leaving a beautifully decorated tree, twinkling away in all it’s fibre optic glory.

Got up this morning to a horizontal tree, a bauble strewn carpet and two very innocent looking kittens.

Little fuckers!

 

 

 

Quote of the Day:
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
--George Carlin

OMG!!

*Speechless*

Cats on drugs…

Gotta love those feline junkies :)

The Mom Song

Ken Lee….

Brings a tear to your eye……

Snow

Yes, we have snow.

No, I am not going to build a snowman.

As for the person who suggested I strip naked and make snow angels… Talk to the hand!!

Yes, snow is very pretty in photos and yes, it’s lovely to sit by a warm fire and look at the snow out the window, but it’s a pain in the arse when you need to go anywhere and in case you hadn’t noticed, it’s fecking freezing!!!

Come back to me when you’ve invented warm snow, I might be interested.

Bah Humbug!!

 

Technorati Tags: Snow

Those Logs…

Remember I told you that Hubby had bought a few logs for the fire? Well here they are…

We have a forest!!!! A horizontal one lol. Well that’s about 2/3 of them anyway. He is now also the proud owner of one of these…

Wet & Wild!

The weather you dirty bunch of pervs! Honestly, I don’t know…. what with me being a good catholic girl and all .

Anyway, yeah it’s been horrible. Force 10 winds. horrid drizzly rain and downright feckin freezin!

Speaking of which, Hubby has bought in a few logs for the fire…. More on that tomorrow….

LEEBLES!!!

Do I have your attention? Good.

This is a shout out in a Westwood stylee ( I can’t fuckin stand Westwood!) Ok no Westwood. Ermmmm….

This is the Leebles post with gratuitous Lizziness!

Happy now?

Good!

Aries = Me :)

ARIES-The Ram (March 21-April 20)
Key word: Action
Key phrase: I Am!
Element: Fire
Quality: Cardinal
Aries is the first sign of the Zodiac and is ruled by the planet Mars which is located in it's natural First House. It is associated with the beginning of a cycle. When a planet or house cusp is in Aries, the planet or house will describe how or where you strive to be first.

Aries turns ideas into action, is spontaneous, competitive and enthusiastic. It will also show qualities of impulsiveness, selfishness and aggressiveness.

A person born under the sign of Aries will tend to be a natural leader with great passion. They like to start things for others to finish because they become easily bored and want to move on to some new challenge.
Some positive traits: Initiating, pioneering, eager, courageous, independent, dynamic.
Some negative traits : Quick-tempered, violent, impatient, egotistical, intolerant.

Public Service Announcement

 

Doomed! Doomed I tell ya!

Which File Extension Are You?

 

Yay! It’s stoopid online quiz time! There’s two minutes of my life I’ll never get back and it’s obviously wrong too….

Whut?