Clothes shopping...

God Hates Figs

He's probably right.

Did you know...

...That anal bleaching can be achieved in a DIY fashion by using toothpaste?

No?

Neither did I until I spent the day waiting in for a delivery and was enlightened by the good women of Mumsnet.

Seriously! You couldn't make this shit up!

I spent most of today

Raking around in craft shops, dragging out the sewing machine and making pretty flowery things by cutting up other pretty flowery things and then sewing the pieces together in a different order. Yeah, me!

Proud owner of a large army of ninja squirrels and a detailed plan for world domination...

...Sewing!

Hey Geppetto! I'm a real girl!

And now it's time to resume normal service, so I'm fetching a Bacardi and coke. 

Tomorrow I may have to kill something cute and small to re-balance the cosmos... Who knows. 

Actually...

Not only am I going to try to keep this updated.

I'm going to move it to wordpress.



Behold the awesomeness!


Edit: Having mooched around the settings, maybe I can live with Blogger after all.

Suck it up, cupcakes!

Three years?

Wow! A whole three years since I so much as looked at this blog? Oh well. Never mind. A brief synopsis of the last three years then:

• Went back to work
• Bought lovely new car
• Wrote off lovely new car
• Left husband
• Moved house
• Bought a motorbike
• Became an orphan 

That about sums it up really.
Anyway, onward and upward... I think I might try to keep this little fucker updated...

Stay awake bitches. ;)

It’s Back! and Other Stories

Yay! The home of the porn hounds is back. I never thought I’d miss it that much. Why it disappeared, or what happened to make it reappear is anyone’s guess.

I’ve just spent 15 minutes of my day trying to find out the correct way to say “Go fuck a chicken!” in French, because somebody asked me. Now there’s 15 minutes that I will never get back. In case you’re interested, I think it’s “Vas faire foutre a la poulet”, but I wouldn’t want to bet on it.

 

Quote of the Day:
Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.
--Anonymous

Merry Kissmas

Cats + Tree =

…Fucking Bedlam!!

Went to bed last night leaving a beautifully decorated tree, twinkling away in all it’s fibre optic glory.

Got up this morning to a horizontal tree, a bauble strewn carpet and two very innocent looking kittens.

Little fuckers!

 

 

 

Quote of the Day:
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
--George Carlin