Meet my new pal Spidey (original huh?)
He's moved in to the door frame and made himself nice and comfy. Right beside the spot I stand in when I'm out having a ciggy!
Cheeky sod!
Thursday 31 July 2008
Married life
For those who seem to feel an irresistible urge to ask 'How's married life?'
After 4 years, the highlight of my day is one of those conversations. They start with OH entering the room muttering. Nine times out of ten it's because he can't find something.
'I can't find my (could be anything)!'
'Have you looked (insert sensible place to look)?'
'Of course I have, it's not there!'
'Would you like me to have a look?'
'It's NOT there, you'll be wasting your time!'
So off I go to have a look, move some things and Hey Presto! I find the missing object.
'Where did you find it?'
'Exactly where I told you to look'
'You can't have done, I looked there!'
There was a good example of this type of conversation today.
He walked and asked me if the old Flymo has a grass box, I said yes it does.
He walked in an hour or so later, snorted and announced that not only does it not have a grass box, it doesn't even have a place to put one.
I told him he was wrong, he disagreed, I told him that I would prove it and that then he would owe me a cuppa. He said I'd be making my own cuppa.
I led him out to the garage, walked over to the Flymo (complete with grass box) lifted the lid off the grass box and asked 'If that's not a grass box, what is it?
He spent the next hour muttering about how he doesn't know about crappy girly mowers, he only knows about proper mowers.
I got my cuppa though :)
Bloggety blog
I haven't blogged for a while, partly due to the ineptitude of BT broadband and partly due to my laptop, which decided not to boot one morning. This resulted in a lovely conversation with a 12 year old spotty 'team leader' in Tesco, followed by an infuriating conversation with HP technical support.
So, what seems to be the problem, madam?
There's no 'seems' to it, it won't work. I get the post screen and then nothing.
The post screen?
Yes, the bios post screen.
Does it show any windows boot screen at all?
No, I just told you it doesn't. Put your script down and listen.
I want you to take out the battery, plug in the charger and...
...It's not a power issue, the battery is fine, the charger is fine.
Yes, but we need to work through...
...The script? I don't want to play that game. The problem is with the boot sector.
The boot sector?
Yes.
Ummmm....
Can I please speak to someone who has technical knowledge and not just a screen with Yes/No tick boxes?
Ummm... I'll call you back in an hour, is that ok? I need to speak to my supervisor.
He didn't call.... I don't think he loves me any more....
I spent half an hour on my big, scary, not often used computer. Downloaded a bootable program, fixed the boot sector and was then able to use the HP recovery disks, ok it put the laptop back to 'factory settings', which in English means I lost all my stuff (except I didn't cos it was all backed up).
Hey Presto! All fixed!!
The following day I had a call from wotsisface at HP (who incidentally sounded just like Borat)
I'm glad I don't work your hours mate!
Pardon??
I said, I'm glad...... never mind. What can I do ya for? (This started another round of pardons and never minds)
I am calling about the problem with your laptop.
There is no problem with my laptop. I fixed it, no thanks to you. I found a bootable program which would allow me to completely clear the boot sector, then I could run my recovery disks. Incidentally, did you know that those recovery disks will run fine with a good boot sector or with it cleared, but they're naff all use if your boot sector is corrupted.
Boot sector? what is naff, sorry? It's fixed now you say? Can I close the query?
Yes dear, you can tick the box that says you sorted my problem, the one which adds to the wonderful stats for your service.
Pardon?
Never mind.....
BT was either less or more fun, depending on your point of view. Our local exchange was upgraded to ADSL max recently. We were still on the old exchange activate 512mb connection, so I called them to ask if they would switch us over. I got through to BT Delhi (or whatever) who told me that I was already on ADSL max (No I'm not. Yes you are) Well, you must be, there isn't anything else. Yes there is, I'm on it. I spent a month arguing this with them, they would log our slow speeds as a fault, even though I told them not to, an engineer would check it again, then say that we would get billed for calling them out again, to which I would say 'Bollocks, I will. I didn't call you out'
Now you might say, that this was my own fault for calling the faults department. I didn't. It didn't matter which number I called, they would inevitably put me through to broadband tech support, who would then log it as a fault, no matter how many times I told them not to.
I gave in after weeks of running around in circles. I called Ofcom, told them my tale of woe and was given a special number for BT and an Ofcom reference number. Wow!! It's like ringing the BT batphone. Your call is answered by people for whom English is their first language, this is the fix it because you've complained mob and Oh my God, they're good! We were assigned our personal superwoman, with access to all departments, no script and most importantly... motivation and initiative! So, they finally hooked us up to ADSL max and guess what? It didn't work!! Bugger! Oh well we thought, never mind and they plugged us back in to our 576 down and 64/96 up (it varies).
Now the annoying bit! Our neighbour (not at all computer literate and to be honest, would be fine with dial up) who lives in the nearest house to us (100 yards) had broadband installed. His ADSL max connection connected at 1.5 meg. Now if that 100 yards up the road meant his line was 100 yards shorter it wouldn't be so bad, but not only does the line take the scenic route to get to us, but it runs straight past his house to us, then his line is connected outside our house and runs back up the road to him. So his line is in fact 200 yards longer. Will BT change us to a different pair of wires? Will they hell! Apparently, as long as it's good enough for calls, then it's tough! But it isn't good enough for calls! I've spent many an hour on that phone shouting down it at people and trying to get them to shout back. Conversations mainly consisting of 'Eh? Pardon? Could you speak up a bit?' You can't plug a modem into it to get a dial-up connection either. The line's too crap for that! I've given up, I use my mobile for everything now and if the landline rings I quite often ignore it, because I just can't face standing there with my finger jammed in my other ear, shouting and yelling into the receiver.
Ok rant over... for now.
Here's a pretty picture to sooth after all that ranting.
and one of last night's sunset
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